This One Word Can Help You Shift Your Mindset

Have you ever tried to learn something new, but it didn't sink in right away?

When you take on something new - for example, when you first learn to read or ride a bike – it doesn't always come to you immediately, right?

It takes practice, time, and telling yourself you CAN do it.

And, over time, it often becomes second nature, like the phrase, "It's like riding a bike."

We can do this with our thoughts as well.

Yep, what we tell ourselves over and over is the basis for what we believe, whether helpful or harmful.

You may not be able to change your situation, especially when trying to conceive, but you can change your thoughts and responses to what's currently going on for you.

Affirmations are a great way to do this because repeatedly speaking them can help create new neural pathways in your brain.

What's a neural pathway, you ask?

Consider this: when you walk in your yard or a field for the first time, there is no wear to the grass you're walking through.

But if you walk the same path repeatedly, you will see the grass slowly wearing down.

The grass becomes patchy, and you can see the dirt below it.

You've created a trail that you can follow.

Similarly, when you practice repeating affirmative thoughts, you will create new neural pathways in your brain, like the trail.

Habits are created this way - with repetition - even if you don't fully believe it's possible.

My clients and I talk a lot about managing all of the emotions that come with your fertility journey and believing in yourself, the process, and your ability to be a mother.

Some of the stories and beliefs I have seen from my ladies in this journey include

- My body is broken.

- I waited too long.

- This is too hard.

- I can't take another loss.

- My eggs are too old.

- How can I have a baby if my body feels this way already?

- I am not worthy of being a mom.

- I will never have a baby.

It's hard to cope with all of the uncertainties, especially when you've experienced losses, gone months without a positive pregnancy test, or have had to deal with multiple disappointments.

You feel like you are losing hope.

And, while it's important to feel your feelings and sit with them, they can quickly spiral into a dark place.

I know firsthand how easy it is to get caught up in the range of feelings - grief, fear, anger, hopelessness.

But, it is possible to shift your thoughts to better cope by becoming aware of the automatic negative thoughts (or ANTS) floating in your brain.

Replacing these ANTS with affirming thoughts helps move your attention and energy to a different place in your mind.

Using the phrase "I am" in an affirmation because it puts you where you want to be.

- I am fertile

- I am healthy

- I am a mother‌

While using "I AM" can be powerful, it doesn't always feel authentic, especially after dealing with one nasty set of news after another.

So, as my dear friend and Life Coach, Kristen Werblow, teaches, insert the word "CAN" in your affirmation to create a bridge that opens up the possibility of something coming into your existence.

For example, if you add CAN to the affirmation, "I am a Mother," you bring in possibility...because anything is possible.

"I can be a mother" is a powerful statement about the possibility that motherhood can be yours.

Over a few days, jot down some of the things you tell yourself.

Take those thoughts and rephrase them into affirming ones.

Add the word "can" if your affirmation feels hard to believe.

Then, read these thoughts aloud daily, in the morning and before bed.

The repetition will compound your belief over time (even in a few weeks) so that this new, affirming thought replaces the negative one.

This magical word - CAN - shifts your focus, allows your nervous system to breathe, relieves stress, and allows guidance and wisdom to enter.

Try it, and let me know how it works for you.